To be gone but only from sight

George Ng’ang’a Gikanga aka Daddy 18.01.1983. 35 years gone by.

It has been more years without you than I lived with you but memories of you could fill an ocean.

Today I remember you with a great sense of calm. You know the kind of inner peace that comes from perfect assurance. A feeling that I am justified and entitled to claim to call you Daddy and say that I am your daughter. Somehow it was as if all these years I feared you would leave, yet you were already gone. How could I fear you leaving after you had already died? But now I seem to have found a place where I am settled in the conviction that nothing can hurt our relationship. It is for keeps. It’s a long distance relationship but it’s real. A One way ticket kind of journey without a baggage allowance.

Though death is painful for those left behind, I wonder how it feels to have a parent walk away from their family by choice.Which “death” is more painful, or is it just different kinds of pain?

Daddy, thank you for choosing to stay and be with us for the time you had on earth. Yes, the contentment and sense of entitlement stem from the realization that when you were alive, you chose us, your family and stayed to the last day.

Thank you Daddy!

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